I took some photos of this past ice/snow storm, I posted those on Facebook, and wrote that they are copyrighted photos. Are they such amazing or excellent photos that I am afraid they would be stolen? No, not at all, but it was a moment to open dialogue about the subject and to make me consciously choose to acknowledge what has been bothering me for quite some time.

Artistic Thievery is a very real thing. Whether that be someone steals your images for their usage, to a company producing prints of your paintings, maybe it is plagiarism, and it might even be the theft of your intellectual property-your words, ideas and concepts. Now some of you may make the argument of nothing being original, and we all have similar thoughts, true, but when someone uses these aforementioned items, without permission, it is simply theft.

Who would do such a thing? Not your friend, someone without respect, someone trying to just make a dollar, someone that has no regard for boundaries or property. In short, not someone of a high caliber. So, you may find yourself asking what the difference between artistic thievery vs. inspiration is, and to sum it up, inspiration takes an idea and puts a personal twist or approach on it.

So where is the line? How do we define artistic thievery? Some like images are pretty clear cut. If it ain’t yours and you are using it to make money, or without crediting the artist, that is thievery. If you are quoting someone without giving credit, thievery. If you are employing the words of another, that they use in some specific capacity, probably thievery. Do you think about what you say, share or post…maybe even print for your own purposes? Could be thieving.

So, let me tell you What I did for me today:

• I had two conversations, one with my husband, one with a great friend, both about thievery and betrayal
• I broke down and sobbed over both of those things, it served me to release the emotions, the expectations and the hurt feelings that I had
• I delved deep in to some personal issues about these 45 days, in relation to my work life, and where I need to go from here-so this process is working

What I did for another:

• I let go

My husband and I talked about how his idea of these 45 days was meant for me to have more joy in my life, to find a better balance and gain some clarity, but he emphasized the joy aspect. I took the idea, and morphed it in to an opportunity to share my journey, to hopefully inspire others in their own journeys, and clearly to have a bad day (or 5) along the way…for the purpose of release(thank you Maria), to clear room for what is meant for me, to see a pathway in to my future, and honestly to heal some things I don’t often say.

What are you looking to do currently on your journey? Do you have a beef you need to chew, or discuss? Are you holding in emotions that are holding you back? I am interested in you, your life, your growth, hit me up with what’s happening for you!

Happy Valentine’s Day to all of you that celebrate, as for the rest, Good Monday to you! It seems you either like this holiday/day or not. Maybe that is due to your current status, a former status, a belief or you just don’t like this day, and yes, I think this applies to V-Day and Monday alike.

I have never really been a big fan nor a hater of Valentine’s Day. I think it is a nice day for many to celebrate their loves, significant others or family members, maybe just friends, but still a cute day for gifts, goodies, experiences and love. I did enjoy it when my kids made Valentine’s Day boxes for school, and when I worked at Hallmark, the excitement of the day was very palpable. As someone that is married, I am not a big gesture person, and kind of loathe that mindset. The concept of Valentine’s Day, a day of love, in my opinion, should be celebrated randomly through the year, not just one day for commercial purposes. If I want to express my love through gestures, I do it when I am feeling the desire to express it, not one day a year. How about you, what are your thoughts on Valentine’s Day, you love it, hate it, indifferent to it?

My viewpoint on Mondays, is a somewhat similar look, so many people dread Mondays, like viscerally so, but I think it comes from your experiences, past and present of how your Mondays went/go, maybe also how your life went/goes. I am sure at some time I hated Mondays, but I probably hated Sundays at that time too…most likely I hated lots more than just days of the week. I get the feeling of memory that I was probably resistant, probably had high expectations, and more likely than not, I built things up in my mind for the weekend and thus the disdain for Monday. This seemingly would apply to a similar outlook on Valentine’s Day too, I imagine, the build up, the expectations, the resistance to not having what, or the way, we want could make us loathe and dread those days.

I actually enjoy and look forward to Monday, it is not what I consider the first day of my week, Sunday is, and it is a day I start fresh in my home, I like that. I wonder if February 15th feels like that for many people, fresh start, or if it is a day of regret, let down, or perhaps it is simply the day after February 14th for most? I don’t think I have ever really had this conversation with anyone, so I would love to know your thoughts on February 15th, and how you feel about Mondays-which I do discus with people from time to time. Let’s see what today holds for my 4/45 days!

Today, what I did for me was:

• I made myself a lip scrub
• I made a new rollerball of my signature scent
• I refilled a blended rollerball gifted to me
• I hung lavender and eucalyptus in my shower

What I did for others:

• I made a rollerball with soothing scents for a fellow yogi that is a teacher
• I hung lavender and eucalyptus in my kids’ shower

I felt that I embodied love and freshness in my actions today! These are actions that will benefit me for more than one day, and will also benefit others for more than one day. Perhaps it will encourage those I did for, to in turn uplift and provide freshness for others, and so on and so forth. Constant uplifting and renewal, I like that too! How about you, how do you like to uplift and renew others?

Self care Sunday, Sunday Funday…we can do both and we shall!

Sunday is a great day for self care! It is typically the day after all of our rushing to and fro to get things done that we didn’t, or couldn’t, get done during the week. It is also the day before we resume said busyness, the lull before the rush. For many, it is a day of worship, a day of reflection, a day of rest and recovery. This is a great day to take time to help ourselves, nourish ourselves, and maybe treat ourselves more kindly. Self care Sunday, what does this mean for you, and how do you go about caring for yourself?

Sunday is also a great day to enjoy all the time and work you put in to the week. We need a day of rest, but sometimes we really just need to let loose and have some fun too. Whether you find yourself floating down a river, or watching your favorite sports team, cheering your head off, you should do what makes you happy. Sunday Funday has no limits, and should be a day of freedom, in whatever way you see fit. What are you doing to have fun today, does it include, friends/family/loved ones?

Today, what I did for me was:

• I went to Rest and Recovery yoga this morning
• I did a face mask
• I cleaned the lint out of my hair dryer(holy cow, I haven’t done that for a while and it made a huge difference-no frizz)

What I did for others:

I am going to leave this one silent today. We don’t always need to tell what we did, we know.

I hope you have had a great Sunday, however you have spent it. For those of us in Who Dey Nation, today is definitely going to be a great day, not just a day of self care, not just a fun day, but we are looking for a day of victory, happiness and pride. Go Bengals!!

I introduced you to my 45 day adventure yesterday, and I must say, I am excited to see where this goes for me, and maybe you too! Part of this journey is getting out of my “comfort zone”, which isn’t so comfortable, and trying new things. These new adventures may be big or small, depending on the opportunity, but new things push us to grow in all ways, despite size!

Today, this is what I did for me:

• I slept on a new mattress(had to return that last one)
• I slept in until 7:50am
• I read for pleasure

This is going to be a bit contradictory, but as I am telling you to get out of your comfort zone, I am also cozying in with a new mattress. Here is the thing, we needed a new mattress a few months back and we went with a different brand when we purchased, thinking it would be better. For a couple of months we slept terribly hoping the mattress would somehow magically change, it really was taking a negative toll on us, and so we decided to return the mattress and go back to our old brand. Boy are we glad we did!!! This morning when my husband got up, I had no idea, as there was no movement or sound, even the dogs slept better and stayed put in the room when he got up, which almost never happens. Seriously, my whole outlook was different today because of this mattress and some extra zzz’s.

https://www.nectarsleep.com just in case you were wondering!

What I did for someone else:

• I watched a wrestling meet of someone I have never met, supporting others’ hard work is great
• I cheered for a girl that chose wrestling as her sport, which is a bit unconventional…by the way, first dude you wrestled thought you were hot, his parents informed us

What did you do today? Do you have plans? Did you stay in our go out? Any comfort zones you want to leave, is cozying in on your agenda? Drop me a line, let me know!

They say you can develop a life changing habit in 40 days. Pretty sure they used to say 21 days, but you know, times change, we are more stubborn these days, so 40 days is the going rate, I suppose…according to “them”. Would you develop a habit in 45 days, for your betterment? How about several habits? What if the main habit was just to take better care of yourself, to focus on that for 45 days? Well that is what I am doing, and I invite you to join me on this journey!

I am at a crossroads in life, in a pretty big way, and I have been stressing out about it. This place in time has been coming, building if you will, and after I had Covid, it seemed to not only gain steam, but to build pressure up to a rolling boiling point…my pot may have spilled over some, but here we are, day 1 of 45.

My husband has reached a great point in his life, his deep seated problems are no longer problems, which relieves me. My oldest daughter is pretty self sufficient, needing me way less, this is relieving but also frightening. My youngest daughter is heading that direction, self sufficiency, but she has also been the least demanding of time and energy of the three. So here I am, my roles are changing, my body is changing, my mentality is changing, and honestly, I have been freaking pretty hard. HARD.

I am okay with all of these changes, in fact I welcome them, embrace them, celebrate them, REJOICE IN THEM. This is only the end of a chapter and not the book, but the largest part of my identity is no longer viable and that has sent me in to a bit of a tailspin. Maybe I should have focused more on me this whole time? I want to say that is where I went wrong, but deep down I know that is an unfair and inaccurate assessment and statement. I will show myself grace and kindness instead and get on with the 45 days bit.

As I was fretting(yet again), my husband calmly and compassionately suggested that I take the next 45 days to focus on me, to take good care of myself, to devote time every day to what fills me up, what makes me happy, what reconnects me to myself. I honestly think I looked at him like he was crazy, but he was looking back at me with compassion and empathy. He knows that I have dedicated the last 23 years to him and our kids, and while I tried to maintain my individuality, it was hard to not just become his wife, or their mom. I go all in, I chose to be the best for them, but I forgot to be the best for me too.

Now, this isn’t just a fill their cup and never mine instance, but I did sacrifice a ton and made sure they had what they needed while taking sips for myself, but again, roles change, life transitions. I am now looking at my cup wondering if I need to break it, fill it, or questioning what a “cup” really is. 45 days he says, is it that easy to gain clarity, to spend 45 days with myself?

He is convinced this will help me, but more so, I think he sees my sacrifice and at this point, 45 days is time to invest in myself, to develop, or reestablish some good, old habits. Maybe it is his way of telling me to stop obsessing and fretting over it? Probably, but I did snatch the idea right up and developed his thought quickly in to this, for 45 days I will do something for myself. I will post about it, and I will include times when I do something for someone else, because that is truly who I am, I HAVE to do for others, not in validation, but because I am a giver, and honestly, many people often have a hard time giving to themselves, instead of to others…this way if you join me, you can give to you, but give to another, feel good for and about you, but also make another feel good too. Sound good? Let’s get started!

Today is day 1/45 and this is what I did for me:

• I got up early to go to yoga
• I am drinking a gallon of water(or close enough to) to ensure my hydration
• I am eating healthier, with focus on lean meat, veggies
• I spent an hour with a friend

What I did for another:

• I gave a book and some sage to a friend
• I gave the friend some advice on energy blocking

As you can see, we don’t have to do crazy things, and my friend also suggested that I make a list of self care things I can do, or want to do…and to not limit myself in those things. If I want to go jump in a mud puddle, then I should, and I should let myself enjoy it. I think we often don’t do things because we make “good decisions”, meaning we won’t regret the consequences, but honestly, we are denying ourselves so much with this mindset! Cleaning up can be a time to reflect on the fun!!

So how about it, do you want to join me in my 45 days of self clarity(or whatever you want to call it)? Do you want to do something for your soul, your sanity, your amazing self daily??? I would love to have you join me and tell me about! Even if you don’t join me, I would love for you to do this for you, in your own way and time, for YOU! I look forward to talking to you about this, daily, for 45 days!

We are in interesting times, my friend. Two years ago at this time, we really had no idea what was coming, what was about to happen, and how it would hit the fan. Ignorance was bliss for many, in a lot of ways, and to tell you the truth, those days are over. But what does that mean?

Truthfully, we all transition through many challenging times in our lives. We start as kids that become adults, having no cares to being responsible, maybe we get married and have kids, perhaps we focus on our careers, a lot of us do both, or more, whatever we do, we have a lot of changes that make us pause, consider and then move according to our choice of direction. This is not really one of those times, this is different, things are shifting to lessen the load of ignorance, and to force us in to acceptance, responsibility, accountability.

Those words, acceptance, responsibility, accountability, really will apply to us all, and in turn, we will need to hold others to the same. Here is the really difficult part, most people are struggling with that because they have no idea what those words *actually* mean. Some may think having a job embodies those words, yes, but not quite. Some think teaching their children to love and accept all people is what they mean, yeah, but not quite. Others think it is about getting everyone on the same page…this could be true, OR, it could be extremely false, and again, not quite. “So Erin, what do you think it means???”

I know it means that we need to collectively, consciously heal from our traumas, starting at our childhood, working through our formative years, and taking us through where we have been, to where we are. This should be what we all work through at some point in our lives, so that we may truly be free. “That’s just how it is.” “You know how they are.” “That’s just my personality.” Hell to the no. You aren’t an asshole just because it is your personality, you didn’t come out of the womb that way, you had experiences and conditioning that made you that way, so stop making excuses for yourself and become aware, accept, claim responsibility and be accountable.

Many people have no idea about themselves, about this phenomenon I speak of. Most people are given reasons why they are the way they are, they accept it as facts, and then it is a crutch the rest of their lives. And do you know what this does? It perpetuates the cycle to continue from one generation to the next. So how does this relate to the last 2 years? We have all been under the influence of abusers gaslighting the daylights out of us, they continue to do so for their gain. For many people, this is being done without their consent or knowledge, it has triggered old, unhealed trauma, and has heaped on much more. For those giving consent, they are feeding an abusive cycle that may have already existed in another form in their life, they may or may not know this.

That is a bold statement, I have said and thought this from the beginning, and now more people are waking up to it, acknowledging it, and really accepting what has been done, what is still being done, it is mass psychosis. For those of you still in denial, it is okay, you may or may not get there, but observe objectively if you can…if you cannot, then YOU need to look more closely at your own life, your own experiences and become a little more aware. Maybe you had a perfect childhood/experience, and maybe everything in your life has been great, no baggage or trauma for you? If this is the case, look more closely and see if you are a problem for people, or if you constantly apologize(this is NOT just a sign of introversion)…you may have some things to sort out. So again, how does this connect?

When we are traumatized in any way, our bodies hold on to that, physically, mentally, emotionally. Add sickness, uncertainty, division, segregation, chaos and more to that, well most people will just fold and seek/follow authority figures to help ground themselves in some sort of security. With a bit of research and data, you can hone in on what drives a community, a culture, genders, adults, kids, generations etc., basically we are sitting ducks prime for the plucking. I don’t tell you this to scare you, no, I tell you this with a fire in my eye, saying it’s time to rise! Wake up, and rise.

That statement can be misconstrued, so let me clear it up for you. When I say we need to rise, I mean we need to elevate. We need to heal ourselves and our past for our future, for our kids’ future and for any future generations. We need to acknowledge, accept and process our baggage, we can do this through acceptance, responsibility and accountability, maybe some counseling or therapy. Your dad was a jerk to you when you were a kid? Okay, go back, see why he may have been that way and how he carried that forth with him as an adult. Do you have to accept that was your life, his life? Yes, it is a fact in that it happened. Do you have to accept that behavior of then, and maybe now? NO. Are you a jerk? Do you have to stay in that mindset? NO. You can alter and change what does not serve you or others around you. Oh, and you can change your foundation, of which your life was based. Do you have a good foundation?

Many people base their lives on a faith, religion, or spirituality, many base it on other people. To quote my good friend Lorrie, “If you base your life on changeable things, it makes your life unstable.” People are changeable, situations are changeable, places are changeable, so basing your life on say, your parents marriage being your rock, your foundation, this is bound to cause you issues. Your parents could get a divorce, your parents could have a turbulent relationship, you could have abusive parents and not know it’ll acknowledge it…whew! So much stuff to process with all of that. If you are not hearing what I am saying, stop and question it all.

Just because you didn’t grow up with a stable foundation, does not mean that you can’t have one now. Just because you were taught to rely on people, doesn’t mean they are the foundation for you. Just because someone has the position of authority in your life, does not mean they have your best interest, and they may not be operating from a solid place themselves. AND, they may be totally unaware of how crumbly their own foundation truly is. So, how come I think I can tell you about this? Because I am a self healer that has done the work and sorted this out, twice now.

I have lived an abusive relationship, I have witnessed how the abuse transferred from one generation to the next. I have realized that how I feel, is how my abuser felt, and how his abusers made him feel, and it just transfers down the line…ancestral karma, generational trauma, etc! This is what this is. The Holistic Psychologist said it, “ABUSE IS TRAUMA.”. I have gone back and processed, accepted, my own family stuff, so when another family’s BS got passed to me, I said HELL NO. It stops here. It doesn’t get to permeate my kids, although I know it did to some degrees, and that will then become what they need to process, and what we work on as family, doing better individually and as a unit, we are accountable and responsible with where we are. If my child is struggling because of something I put on them from ancestral, generational crap, I will endure what they need to say, I will hear what they need to say, I will accept that returned to me via expression of words, and I will not shirk accountability nor responsibility. I will own it. So how does that apply to the last two years?

Kids in masks, stunting their development and growth in education, not to mention how traumatizing this is for them to not see faces or expressions, damn this boils my blood, and for adults to say “Kids adapt to it way better than adults!”, is nuts. You sound nuts when you say that. You are teaching kids to accept what has been proven ineffective and unnecessary for THEIR health. You are teaching them to react out of fear, and then you want to say, “well we don’t make the decisions”. So, if I beat you every day, you gonna be okay with it, and when I say my boss told me too, that makes it acceptable??? Wow. No, there is no rock and hard place, you are a pawn and you are going right along with it, for safety. “SAFETY”.

When I ask my husband why he thinks his parents were so controlling, his answer is this, “I think they thought if they controlled everything, including me, it would keep me safe, unhurt and out of trouble.”. You can stop with your assumption that this post is a way to work through his issues, it is not, it is a correlation that what the last 2 years has done, and the fallout of it to this point. It will leave a scar that will painfully have to be sifted through, and that isn’t even taking normal childhood crap in to consideration and it also is grooming the next generation to continue to lose touch with their emotions, as well as the emotions of those around them . How much deeper must that scar be getting now???

Ugh. Ugh. Ugh. I asked God, why did I go through this abuse, because it is seemingly senseless, and what I got back was this: SO YOU COULD TELL PEOPLE ABOUT IT, BECAUSE THEY ARE GOING TO NEED TO KNOW HOW TO HEAL, HOW TO DEAL, AND HOW TO CHANGE THINGS.

The first step is realizing why you are the way you are, this starts with childhood, why your parents are the way they are, accept their beginnings and experiences, accept they brought that to you, accept you cannot change it, and accept that you make the choice to either stay where you are anchored, maybe where you don’t want to be, or you can choose to move away from it if that is best for you. People who like having control or an energy source, do not like when you remove that from them, so prepare for push back and possible issues. Again, two years…

What is happening in northern North America right now? Push back from the people, and resources being removed from said people…how about all the pictures of bare shelves?? How about quarantining?? How about healthcare and our schools??? What about cargo ships not being able port??? WAKE UP. Abusers will keep taking and abusing the more you give, the more you try to be part of “the solution”, the more compliant you are, the deeper they will dig in your soul, the more you have to heal. Be accepting of facts, and then be responsible and accountable. Do something about it. Breathe some air, smile at someone, hug a friend.

https://theholisticpsychologist.com/ is a great resource, we also have some amazing resources in our community to help you heal. I personally couldn’t have gotten to where I am without yoga, but that is what works for me, in addition to all the self work I do. What steps will you take in helping yourself, for your community, for your family and for your nation, this world?

If you know your Bible, you’ll know what I am speaking of. God often asks us to do the unthinkable, the outlandish, the impossible, the courageous, maybe even the outrageous. Most people may disagree with this, but if you have a relationship with God, odds are you know, can relate, and have a few tales of your own to support this statement. I have some stories myself, but I often struggle to tell them, or I carefully pick who I share those with. Do you pick and chose who you share your God stories with?

I decided at 16 to start following God, I chose to exchange my pain, for his forgiveness, for a better life, and all I have to do is be his messenger. Sounds simple, but when you exchange one life for another, it isn’t free, it isn’t easy, it pushes you, makes you grow and gives you more freedom than you ever imagined possible. And I chose this at 16…my rebirth, my baptism by acceptance and forgiveness. I wasn’t sure how I would do this, if I could do this, but I did know I would fail, get back up, fail again, and so on until I got better at this life, that I chose.

The importance to me is the choosing. Yes I grew up with my grandma reading me the Bible, or discussing lessons from the Bible, but like God, my path has not been one bit of convention. When I accepted God and Jesus into my heat at 16, I asked God to teach me in ways that I would see and learn. I had attended church when I was younger, but that was not how I learned and absorbed the teaching and lessons. I was more of an observer that connected the dots, saw the small details and bigger picture from that process. I like to explore forwards, but backwards first, maybe side to side, then forward. I like to know what has already happened and why, how that affected everything moving forward, and then I do move forward, prepared. So, in my choosing Christ, and choosing my methodology of learning, I feel that if it weren’t acceptable to God, he would have shown me that and let me know. My openness to new things, all things, well, most things, is what I believe God likes about me most, maybe my courage too.

When I said I would be God’s messenger, I was given a vision, snippets of how awkward, unconventional, personal, maybe even intrusive that would be. But I still gladly accepted, as I knew it was the best for me, for my life, and would be better for all around me because of it. One day, I was at the hospital for a family member’s surgery. As I got on the elevator, a woman was crying, I paused so as to not get on the elevator, God pushed me forward. I waited a beat after the doors closed, and I asked the woman if I could hug her. I held her tight, and told her that God loved her. She gasped and clutched me tighter, and as we parted, she looked me in the eyes and told me that she really needed that. I know, God told me you did.

Another day, I was in Walmart, God prompted me to speak to this lady in the makeup aisle. She looked at me with wonder and fear in her eyes, and for an hour, she unburdened herself with what she was carrying. She told me that she could tell I was a good Christian, I blanched at that, told her to please not call me that…Christian. That I was just doing what God asked me to do. She said yes, you are ministering to me, because you are a Christian. I just politely smiled, but rolled my eyes.

I always felt that was not me, not who or what I am, I am just God’s messenger, you know? I always felt that to be a Christian, I must be perfect, I must not have flaws, I must conduct myself in a certain manner, that I must know all the Bible verses, that I must attend Church, if not regularly, then semi regularly, and that I must live as I had been lead to believe that a Christian lives. Whew, thankfully I wasn’t a Christian so no worries about that, and God seemed okay with that, I realize now that patient was what he was. This was probably about 15 years ago.

In 2019, God lead me down a different path, one of seemingly opposing thoughts, beliefs and conviction. I was disbelieving, hesitant, and not so courageous, but God said it was for me, that it was put in my path for my growth and evolvement. So onward I went in to Holistic Witchery, where I rediscovered things I had been taught growing up at my grandma’s right hand, and my mother’s influence. What I soon discovered was that this class was a lot of psychology, a ton of self discovery, and the place in which all of my struggles would be revealed and whether I healed them or not was then my choice…just took me right back to being 16, choosing God, and God is the one that brought me here to learn, grow and heal…unconventionally.

I spent the next 2 years, learning, healing growing, and one day, I had a light bulb moment. This was all the things the Bible had either taught me, alluded to, or that I had yet to learn. My mind was blown. I was looking at Christianity from a very, very skewed perspective, from the perspective of a sinner that couldn’t accept that I was forgiven and that I would never achieve this unrealistic idea I had of Christianity, that no one would achieve, even if they portrayed it.

What I am telling you is this: NO ONE IS A PERFECT Christian. The whole point of Christianity is to live your best each day, knowing that your actual best is yet to come. We are forgiven, but that doesn’t mean that we should consciously choose to do bad things, however, sometimes we don’t know why we do negative things, and so we should look to our past, to start figuring that out, and show ourselves grace while doing that. Before I go down a separate rabbit hole, just know, last year I accepted and admitted that I am a Christian. I never denied God, Jesus, but I denied myself. Sit with that, and think on it. Are you denying yourself, do you or would you recognize if you were? Is something missing in your life? Do you even know you? Pretty deep questions, but I often say, God has put this in my heart, and the first thing I wrote wasn’t the thing I needed to say, this is. God is unconventional, he moves in unconventional ways, and if you are unconventional, or not, he gets that and will move you in the ways that make it clear to you too.

Sometimes when people change, it is for the better, for them, for you, for everyone around. You could say this type of change is a blessing. Oppositely, sometimes people change for the worse, they go through tough challenges, times of trial, or maybe they are simply influenced by others that have a negative impact on them, causing them to become someone different. Not all times when people change, are good or bad, sometimes change is just change, yet it seems we may be effected by the change, nonetheless.

I have gone through all types of change in my life, the good, the bad and everything in between. I have gained and lost people at varying times because of the good and the bad, and I have also gained and lost people in periods of transition. Here is what I always come back to: some people are here for a reason, some people are here for a season, and some people are meant to teach you a lesson. Whatever category they fall in, if you keep this motto, you are never upset, you are open and accepting to what is meant to be. Sometimes people are meant to come and go, many times, but again, the motto keeps you open, flexible and accepting.

I have some questions I will leave you with:

• Are you open to change?
• How open to change are you?
• Are you accepting of others changing?
• Are there limitations to what you find accepting, as change in others?
• Do you provide room for others to go through change, knowing you may enter, leave, or completely exit their lives? Permanently?
• What affects you accepting change, does that differ for different things/differing people?

I hope this transition of season finds you accepting the things you cannot change, and the wisdom in which to accept it.

If you don’t believe you deserve it.

What standard do you hold yourself to? Is it one taught to you, or one you’ve chosen through learning, is it a mix of both? And if it is a learned one, was the person teaching you of high standard, according to you? Maybe you learned by opposition? How to be, based on what not to do? What has made you, YOU?

I look back upon my almost 45 years on this Earth and I can honestly say, my life is a compilation of good and bad examples, of who I thought did things the right way, of those that I learned from by watching what I didn’t want to do, or have happen in my life. I saw religious people be horrible examples, and I saw sinners show me the best of humanity. I felt the hand of God through my grandmother reading me the Bible, and I witnessed highly regarded do gooders be absolutely retched souls. I have seen traumatized people hurt, and hurt people. I have been traumatized and based my life on helping others heal. I have seen it all, I have done it all, I am human, and so are you.

This kept me from thinking I deserved good things in life, my human affliction. The horrible things I had done made me hate myself, feel that I didn’t even deserve to be alive and I sure as hell didn’t deserve anything good. And one day, God asked me why I had not forgiven myself, if He had forgiven me. I really did not know the answer to that, and so God asked me to start showing myself kindness, and to consider forgiving myself. But could I?

You see, because I had given my life to God, in exchange for the lessening of my pain and burden, I owed it to Him, to at minimum, give it a try. And that is what I did. I tried, I failed, I beat myself up, I treated myself unfairly and unkindly and I kept getting messages, randomly, that God really wanted me to forgive myself. You see, I couldn’t move on, until I did. And you may ask, move on to what? More. Life. Love. Happiness. Forgiveness. Understanding. Empathy. God.

Many of you may not believe in God, and that is okay. I went through a period when I didn’t either. Why does God make us suffer, what is the point, etc etc etc. This will still work, even if you don’t believe(God loves you anyhow). The point is, would you be willing to try to forgive yourself? How might you start, you ask?

Pretend that you had no beginning, and the end is yet to be determined. Nothing is written in stone, before, or after right now. There is only you, in this moment, and only you, in what you do today. Do you like your actions? Do you like the consequences of your actions? Do you like wielding power and control over others, or does it make you hate yourself, on some level? Do you want to be more of what you are today? All of it, some of it, or none of it? And do you know that you can change that if you want to, if you try, if you trust that you can, and will be better off for it?

I don’t usually feel called to write about God, I usually have these conversations in person, but, part of my purpose in this life is to be a messenger. I agreed to this, it is part of my soul contract, and today I am being urged to write this. It is flowing out of me faster than I can type, and I don’t want to miss a word of what I am supposed to tell you.

Please pause today. And ask yourself if you deserve an abundance in life. Pause and ask yourself why or why not. Pause and listen to the answers, listen to where the answers may lead you, listen for guidance. It is all there waiting for you, for YOU. You deserve the best in life, believe it.

My mom always says everything works out just like it is supposed to, everything works out in the end.

My dad says things work out for the best when you work for it.

My grandma always said how do you want it to go? Is it going that way?

And I am telling you that I believe in you, I see you, I know you can and will. Now go do it.

I hope this reaches who it was meant for, that you know you are loved and that I believe in you. You deserve a good abundance. ~Erin

Hi. How are you? Are you doing okay? Do you know that you are loved?

Right now, we have a lot to be angry about in this world. No matter your politics, or your vaccination status, no matter your race, or even the class you fall in, we all have plenty to be angry about these days. Part of me feels that we are also grieving, and even though anger is a part of the grieving process, these emotions hold separate places for us at this moment. That is pretty heavy, for anyone. Are you really okay, do you need encouragement? Do you need something you can’t quite define? Me too. I feel it too.

These feelings of loss, grief and anger have made me feel as though I am missing something, something vital. I have sat with the feelings, let those get out of hand, freaked out pretty badly, and then I wanted to attack my husband for being so calm. This feeling was not in alignment with who I am, nor who I want to be, and I don’t want to be upset with Bill for being the calm in the storm, and so I paused, and asked myself questions.

What do I need? Am I doing what I need? Am I receiving what I need? Am I pursuing what I need? Can I even recognize what I need??? Honestly, I was so panicky that I couldn’t identify my nose on my face. So, like any smart person, I allowed that frenzy become huge, crazy and out of control, and then I heard God say, “I’ve got you.”. And I let go.

I let go because, quite frankly, this stuff in the world? It is bigger than me and you. It is so big, we need to let God handle it. My purpose at this time, is to be peaceful, to love others, to share in community, and to be a solid, grounding presence for others. I forgot this was who I am, who I am intended to be, who God asked me to be. Are you being you, who you’ve been asked to be? And are you filling you up?

We need to fill ourselves up with things that make us happy. Activities with friends or loved ones, quiet time alone, whatever you do, savor that time and feeling. Embrace the joy, create joy, find joy, do all things with love and joy.

I am softening. I am letting go of wrath, hatred and control. I am embracing love, being productive and being present, not just for me, but for you too. Do you know you are loved? I love you, and I have no doubt that many others love you too. Will you join me and tell someone that you love them, today? We need more of that, more love, more words and acknowledgment of love. You and I, my friend, we are love. All you need is love.

If you are struggling, please reach out to me, a loved one, or a trusted person. You are very precious, we will figure out what you need, how to help and will make sure that you are not alone, that you know you are loved.

God bless my friends!

~Erin