Two years, a lifetime and eternity

We are in interesting times, my friend. Two years ago at this time, we really had no idea what was coming, what was about to happen, and how it would hit the fan. Ignorance was bliss for many, in a lot of ways, and to tell you the truth, those days are over. But what does that mean?

Truthfully, we all transition through many challenging times in our lives. We start as kids that become adults, having no cares to being responsible, maybe we get married and have kids, perhaps we focus on our careers, a lot of us do both, or more, whatever we do, we have a lot of changes that make us pause, consider and then move according to our choice of direction. This is not really one of those times, this is different, things are shifting to lessen the load of ignorance, and to force us in to acceptance, responsibility, accountability.

Those words, acceptance, responsibility, accountability, really will apply to us all, and in turn, we will need to hold others to the same. Here is the really difficult part, most people are struggling with that because they have no idea what those words *actually* mean. Some may think having a job embodies those words, yes, but not quite. Some think teaching their children to love and accept all people is what they mean, yeah, but not quite. Others think it is about getting everyone on the same page…this could be true, OR, it could be extremely false, and again, not quite. “So Erin, what do you think it means???”

I know it means that we need to collectively, consciously heal from our traumas, starting at our childhood, working through our formative years, and taking us through where we have been, to where we are. This should be what we all work through at some point in our lives, so that we may truly be free. “That’s just how it is.” “You know how they are.” “That’s just my personality.” Hell to the no. You aren’t an asshole just because it is your personality, you didn’t come out of the womb that way, you had experiences and conditioning that made you that way, so stop making excuses for yourself and become aware, accept, claim responsibility and be accountable.

Many people have no idea about themselves, about this phenomenon I speak of. Most people are given reasons why they are the way they are, they accept it as facts, and then it is a crutch the rest of their lives. And do you know what this does? It perpetuates the cycle to continue from one generation to the next. So how does this relate to the last 2 years? We have all been under the influence of abusers gaslighting the daylights out of us, they continue to do so for their gain. For many people, this is being done without their consent or knowledge, it has triggered old, unhealed trauma, and has heaped on much more. For those giving consent, they are feeding an abusive cycle that may have already existed in another form in their life, they may or may not know this.

That is a bold statement, I have said and thought this from the beginning, and now more people are waking up to it, acknowledging it, and really accepting what has been done, what is still being done, it is mass psychosis. For those of you still in denial, it is okay, you may or may not get there, but observe objectively if you can…if you cannot, then YOU need to look more closely at your own life, your own experiences and become a little more aware. Maybe you had a perfect childhood/experience, and maybe everything in your life has been great, no baggage or trauma for you? If this is the case, look more closely and see if you are a problem for people, or if you constantly apologize(this is NOT just a sign of introversion)…you may have some things to sort out. So again, how does this connect?

When we are traumatized in any way, our bodies hold on to that, physically, mentally, emotionally. Add sickness, uncertainty, division, segregation, chaos and more to that, well most people will just fold and seek/follow authority figures to help ground themselves in some sort of security. With a bit of research and data, you can hone in on what drives a community, a culture, genders, adults, kids, generations etc., basically we are sitting ducks prime for the plucking. I don’t tell you this to scare you, no, I tell you this with a fire in my eye, saying it’s time to rise! Wake up, and rise.

That statement can be misconstrued, so let me clear it up for you. When I say we need to rise, I mean we need to elevate. We need to heal ourselves and our past for our future, for our kids’ future and for any future generations. We need to acknowledge, accept and process our baggage, we can do this through acceptance, responsibility and accountability, maybe some counseling or therapy. Your dad was a jerk to you when you were a kid? Okay, go back, see why he may have been that way and how he carried that forth with him as an adult. Do you have to accept that was your life, his life? Yes, it is a fact in that it happened. Do you have to accept that behavior of then, and maybe now? NO. Are you a jerk? Do you have to stay in that mindset? NO. You can alter and change what does not serve you or others around you. Oh, and you can change your foundation, of which your life was based. Do you have a good foundation?

Many people base their lives on a faith, religion, or spirituality, many base it on other people. To quote my good friend Lorrie, “If you base your life on changeable things, it makes your life unstable.” People are changeable, situations are changeable, places are changeable, so basing your life on say, your parents marriage being your rock, your foundation, this is bound to cause you issues. Your parents could get a divorce, your parents could have a turbulent relationship, you could have abusive parents and not know it’ll acknowledge it…whew! So much stuff to process with all of that. If you are not hearing what I am saying, stop and question it all.

Just because you didn’t grow up with a stable foundation, does not mean that you can’t have one now. Just because you were taught to rely on people, doesn’t mean they are the foundation for you. Just because someone has the position of authority in your life, does not mean they have your best interest, and they may not be operating from a solid place themselves. AND, they may be totally unaware of how crumbly their own foundation truly is. So, how come I think I can tell you about this? Because I am a self healer that has done the work and sorted this out, twice now.

I have lived an abusive relationship, I have witnessed how the abuse transferred from one generation to the next. I have realized that how I feel, is how my abuser felt, and how his abusers made him feel, and it just transfers down the line…ancestral karma, generational trauma, etc! This is what this is. The Holistic Psychologist said it, “ABUSE IS TRAUMA.”. I have gone back and processed, accepted, my own family stuff, so when another family’s BS got passed to me, I said HELL NO. It stops here. It doesn’t get to permeate my kids, although I know it did to some degrees, and that will then become what they need to process, and what we work on as family, doing better individually and as a unit, we are accountable and responsible with where we are. If my child is struggling because of something I put on them from ancestral, generational crap, I will endure what they need to say, I will hear what they need to say, I will accept that returned to me via expression of words, and I will not shirk accountability nor responsibility. I will own it. So how does that apply to the last two years?

Kids in masks, stunting their development and growth in education, not to mention how traumatizing this is for them to not see faces or expressions, damn this boils my blood, and for adults to say “Kids adapt to it way better than adults!”, is nuts. You sound nuts when you say that. You are teaching kids to accept what has been proven ineffective and unnecessary for THEIR health. You are teaching them to react out of fear, and then you want to say, “well we don’t make the decisions”. So, if I beat you every day, you gonna be okay with it, and when I say my boss told me too, that makes it acceptable??? Wow. No, there is no rock and hard place, you are a pawn and you are going right along with it, for safety. “SAFETY”.

When I ask my husband why he thinks his parents were so controlling, his answer is this, “I think they thought if they controlled everything, including me, it would keep me safe, unhurt and out of trouble.”. You can stop with your assumption that this post is a way to work through his issues, it is not, it is a correlation that what the last 2 years has done, and the fallout of it to this point. It will leave a scar that will painfully have to be sifted through, and that isn’t even taking normal childhood crap in to consideration and it also is grooming the next generation to continue to lose touch with their emotions, as well as the emotions of those around them . How much deeper must that scar be getting now???

Ugh. Ugh. Ugh. I asked God, why did I go through this abuse, because it is seemingly senseless, and what I got back was this: SO YOU COULD TELL PEOPLE ABOUT IT, BECAUSE THEY ARE GOING TO NEED TO KNOW HOW TO HEAL, HOW TO DEAL, AND HOW TO CHANGE THINGS.

The first step is realizing why you are the way you are, this starts with childhood, why your parents are the way they are, accept their beginnings and experiences, accept they brought that to you, accept you cannot change it, and accept that you make the choice to either stay where you are anchored, maybe where you don’t want to be, or you can choose to move away from it if that is best for you. People who like having control or an energy source, do not like when you remove that from them, so prepare for push back and possible issues. Again, two years…

What is happening in northern North America right now? Push back from the people, and resources being removed from said people…how about all the pictures of bare shelves?? How about quarantining?? How about healthcare and our schools??? What about cargo ships not being able port??? WAKE UP. Abusers will keep taking and abusing the more you give, the more you try to be part of “the solution”, the more compliant you are, the deeper they will dig in your soul, the more you have to heal. Be accepting of facts, and then be responsible and accountable. Do something about it. Breathe some air, smile at someone, hug a friend. is a great resource, we also have some amazing resources in our community to help you heal. I personally couldn’t have gotten to where I am without yoga, but that is what works for me, in addition to all the self work I do. What steps will you take in helping yourself, for your community, for your family and for your nation, this world?

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