20 Questions-2/Sunrise or Sunset?

Granted, my examples below are subjective representations of the embodiment of sunrise and sunset, but which do you prefer, a sunrise or a sunset? Both is a totally acceptable answer. Bonus points if you can show me a favorite of one or both!

Sunrise in Chillicothe, OH
Sunset in Salvo, NC

20 Questions-1/Where is your favorite place you have lived?

I have always loved Chillicothe, I think it is a beautiful town, has terrific architecture downtown and the surrounding areas in Ross County are pastoral, quaint even. It has always been my favorite place to live, where is your favorite place you have lived, and why?

24 days of Prompts-4/Moving on/Antagonistic

Okay, before we begin today, it is always clear when topics are not working, so I am dropping 24 days of Prompts. We’ll begin anew tomorrow, but I will leave you with this last one before we go.

Prompt: Do you want to move on, or stay antagonized?

Old topics come up for a reason, and the reason that I revisited old topics in the last couple of weeks, is because one antagonist reared it’s ugly head. I shouldn’t say it, as it is a person. Honestly, things were going well until the incident, forward momentum was happening, people were healing, feelings were shifting…and while there was a poke of the old antagonist’s tactics, a new antagonist’s tactics had come in to play, and that was the whole point.

See, the old antagonist’s goal is to always make people feel powerless, compliant, small, while looking like a good person on the outside. The new antagonist’s goal is pretty much the same, but on a different level, they want to be in control, have others be compliant, and they want outsiders to think they are doing an amazing job at what they signed on for. What’s the difference? Age, experience, gender. What’s the difference? Nothing really.

Why is nothing different? The same theme in the same people’s lives, with a ton of overlapping, is meant to teach and provide opportunity, not victimize or keep someone hurt. It’s a test and opportunity all in one. There were similar, yet differing reactions to both. So, what does that really mean?

It means that Bill and I both are ready to move on from all of the negativity of the old, as for my children, I won’t speak for them, but I think they have more to process with the old. With the new, it only affects one child, and I think because of the old, she sees her options to walk away and just let it all go. I did the same, I walked away from the new because I have seen this all before, a few times, and I’m not interested in seeing the same exact thing through yet again.

This is the thing, when one person in my house suffers, we all communicate about it. We may not all be at the same place or conclusion at the same time, but we are all having different experiences and feelings about it, and it is worth talking about. The goal is to empathize, understand and relate to each other, to support, love and be the tough voice when warranted. This is love and care.

One of you may need to know what I have written to you, maybe you feel crazy or alone in your feelings, maybe you feel bad or wrong. I am here to tell you that moving beyond people and situations that make you feel bad, purposely, is the goal, it is the intention, and yes my friend, it is the purpose. Don’t stay where you don’t belong nor long to be-negativity.

Drop me a line, let me know if you are wanting to let go of something that is not serving you, I have a multitude of methods to help with that!

24 days of Prompts-3/Make us Laugh!

What has recently made you laugh the hardest?

My kids and I share dog memes and videos regularly, but this one really got me laughing pretty hard. Sometimes, it really is the dumbest, silliest things that make you wheeze with laughter. This pooch is clearly having a blast!😉

Alright peeps, show or tell us what made you laugh really hard this week!

24 days of Prompts-2/Healing

Good morning to you all!

Yesterday we talked about Elimination for Happiness, and while that is a great step to take, it is often a difficult step to take, and honestly, it is commonly a heartbreaking step to take. Eliminating things, situations or people can feel very painful, to the point that it leaves us bereft, heartbroken and empty. This is not to say the decision was wrong, but that by eliminating, we are making room for something better in our lives. The truth is, there is a step in between there that often gets overlooked, overshadowed, and possibly covered up, HEALING.

While we may be rejoicing in the lack of those once painful/stress inducing things, that doesn’t mean that we weren’t emotionally invested. Odds are, we were deeply invested and that is what caused the majority of our strife to begin with. Does this mean you should armor up your heart and not feel? Not at all, it means that you are a wonderfully caring person that has feelings, and in as such, those feelings need processed and healed for you to move on and free from the burden you were under. Shortly put, you need to heal.

Healing can be as simple as an acknowledgment of the situation/experience at whole, acknowledgment of your part, and acknowledgement of how you feel and why you feel that way. There is no need to assign blame, but to observe roles that were played that had an impact for you. Healing can be as middle of the road as writing that all down, examining it all a bit more closely, and exploring how each individual’s experience in life, can and does paint their interactions in life. Healing can be done through help of various resources, such as counseling/therapy, medication, retreats, books, workshops etc.. The methodology of healing doesn’t enhance nor negate our process, the deep work, or lack thereof, in yourself is where success or failure can be found.

With a deeper work, we may find ourselves going through similar situations, time and time again. Part of that is to add to what we have learned, part of that is to reveal more to us, and part of that is to see where we are failing ourselves with our boundaries. This last part is key, boundaries truly are the foundation by which all things can get better, where we discover our voice/or better it, and where we display respect for ourselves, and in that, provide room for others to respect us too.

Healing has to be about us and our internal work. When we attach others to our healing, we are setting ourselves up for failure. We must put others to the side, objectively, and focus on what we need to do to help ourselves. We may find answers we don’t like, but the fact remains that we have to accept what we objectively find there. This is where most people fail to help themselves, they acquiesce to the conditioning or expectation put on them by others or due to the situation, thus keeping them trapped in a mindset they will never escape, let alone heal from.

So, today: What do you need to heal from?

Make a list of things you need to heal from, or what is keeping you stuck. Odds are, you are stuck for a reason, and that very well could be because you have not healed from something. And to all you folks that are older saying, “Well that’s just how it was…”, great of you to be so accepting, but odds are you have some healing to do around whatever IT was.

Drop me a line, let me know how your fall is going so far. Today I dropped a car payment at the vet. Oof! Lol! Tomorrow will be a lighter day for our prompt, yay!

24 Days of Prompts-1/Elimination for Happiness

HAPPY FALL EVERYONE!!!🍁🍃🍂🍃🍂🍁

You all know how I love Fall, you all know how I love counting days/making them count, and you all know I love a project!!! Yesterday I had no clue what our next segment of days would be about, but I didn’t sweat it, it always reveals itself. Last night, I was laying in bed reading, Bill was watching Tv, and I asked him to remind me today that our next segment would be about journaling/prompts. He kindly did remind me this morning, although I didn’t forget, I formulated instead! I need to back track to get to today’s prompt, the purpose of that, and why that day count. Ready?

Last week, I finished up a photo gallery at about 11:30am, I showered, put on cozy pajamas and decided to kick back in the recliner for a while. I felt extremely good, not just accomplished, but really good. As I was laying there thinking about how good I felt, I realized that I wasn’t accurately seeing my own feelings. I know I felt really good, but this went beyond physical, in to mental and emotional…and it startled me to realize what I felt. I was HAPPY.

My Buckeye Tree is so pretty!

I honestly could not recall the last time I was actually happy. I feel positive and good emotions all the time, but happy is something I have not been in years. YEARS. At first, o felt the need to tamp my happiness down, just as I was made to do all these years, and I thought, no, if anyone cannot handle my happiness, that is on them. I am just going to bask in it, feel it, absorb it, love it, be it. I was just going to be HAPPY. When Bill walked in the door about 20’minutes later, he stopped in the doorway and just stared at me. He told me that I was glowing, I said I felt glowy. He said, no really, you look so at peace and happy. I said I am at peace and happy. He said, it really looks good on you, I said, why thank you, it feels great. And then I walked him through my morning, up to the point of him walking in. And my happiness and glow, made him happy and glow too.

If you are a regular here, you probably know how elusive happiness has been for me, for a long time. Truly, when I started getting mean, enforcing boundaries, and being ugly honest(way past brutally honest), that is when things started changing around here. I figured I wasn’t happy anyhow, how bad would it be if I started speaking incessant truth…to pretty much everyone? What is the worst that would happen, people would stop talking to me? What would be so bad about people that stress me out, leaving me alone, without their bullshit behaviors to deal with? Seemed pretty appealing, so that is what I did, you know what happened?

Look at how few leaves it has left!

I became less stressed, less anxious, more productive, more cognitive-seriously my brain is working well again, more grounded in intentions, and it resulted in my finding myself happy one afternoon. Who in the hell would have thought that eliminating was the answer, and not addition?! Completely mind blowing.

Let’s get real. Did I eliminate friends? Yes, but they were not really friends with me, just who they needed from me. I no longer provide what they need. BYE. Did I eliminate relatives? Yes, same thing as the friends, they no longer got what they needed from me. BYE. Did I eliminate associations? Yes, but you want to guess or have you caught on? That’s right, they no longer got what they needed from me. Bu-BYE.

As you may have figured out, I wasn’t getting anything from these people. Nothing, except stress, distress, or anxiety. No drops of anything good, so severing the attachment was not all that hard. I simply told them how I felt, they walked away on their own. I like to give people choices as to what they want to do, or how they want to value me. And with their choices, comes the desire of my own. Elimination.

Spot any Buckeyes? It is supposed to be a bad winter and the squirrels are gathering them, so we are leaving them down this year.

This all sounds very harsh, a bit one sided and cold. Trust me, I consider all things, I weigh out the good and the bad, and am fair to circumstances that could be temporarily altering things. Simply put, I am looking toward the long game and not the quick payoffs these people always got from me, resulting in long term one sided relationships. So how does this lead to journaling or prompts?

My epiphany of suffering unduly for others, made me realize that I can eliminate for better feelings and happiness. We often cling to people because of shared history, comfort or to keep from fear of being alone. It is a shit place to be, and I no longer wanted to be there, especially if it constantly cost me, and didn’t fill me up in any way. So, can you eliminate anything to make your life better, happier or lighter?

We will take these next 24 days of prompts, serious, silly, or centering, and feel our way into this favorite season of mine, FALL. This will lead up to an event I am really looking forward to, Tales of the Undead, as performed at Sugarloaf Mountain Ampitheatre, where I will accompany my husband and my sister to our second annual performing arts night venture!

Drop me a line, let me know if you are ready for 24 days of Prompts! I would love for you to come along, and share your adventure with all of us!

1 to Fall-Goodbye Summer!

Don’t be salty, we’ll still be having warm weather for a bit, but tomorrow’s Fall y’all! Woohoo! Did you do everything you wanted to do this summer? Did you enjoy everything as much as you wanted to? Do you have a list of things you want to do, see, or experience this fall? I have a list, and tomorrow I will tell you a couple of things I am looking forward to! See you tomorrow, Autumnal Equinox 2022!

2 to Fall-Creation

When you think of the word creation, I am sure a variance of things come to your minds. I had an initial thought on that word, and immediately thought how that could widely vary for the lot of us, let alone the whole of us. Let me tell you what I was thinking, and where that lead.

I personally need to express my thoughts, words and feelings in a creative capacity. When I am not creating in some fashion, shape, or form, I feel like a pressure cooker building up steam, not angry steam, but unventilated potential. Today, is a prime example of what can occur when I don’t create. I started to pick up the seating area, next thing I know, I am rearranging furniture. While this is harmless and something I don’t do often, it is a must once I get the urge. That is a great way to sum up all my creation, it is an unsatiated desire until I bring it to life and completion. While I feel this way about the word creation, it’s connotations remind me of what my friend Lori might say about it.

Creation of man and woman has sprung forth a multitude of potentials. With each child brought in to this world, they are brimming with untapped possibilities yet achieved, creation awaiting. Growing from conception to birth is creation realized. Growing from birth to death is creation realized. What you do in between birth and death…you guessed it, creation realized!

Creation is truly subjective, yet not at all. It is subjective in that we all create in different ways, for different reasons, in differing mediums. It is not subjective in the sense that we all make choices that affect our lives, which is also creation. Will you think on that for a moment? Life is creation. Choices are creation. Rearranging furniture is creation, making art is creation. Our actions are creation…

Drop me a line, tell me what came to mind when you first read the word creation, I would love to know and talk about it with you!

3 to Fall-Kudos, Waverly Cardo’s!

Today, we drove to Waverly to pick up Cardo’s for dinner. Fifty percent of the proceeds, and 100% tips went to a young man and his family for his medical bills. Blake Osborne had suffered an injury due to football, and that revealed a larger issue that he had working his brain. He is doing well, but was in the hospital for a few days, needs another surgery, and will be accruing medical expenses for his care. If you missed this cause today, reach out to Cardo’s if you’d like to make donation!

4 to Fall-All you need is LOVE

That’s it. That is the the answer, that is the crux. All you need is LOVE. Truth: Not all people actually know what love is. They define love, under the illusions and conditioning of loyalty, a sense of normalcy, and the experience of their own initial source of love which was not love but conformity through order…when in reality, that is precisely what their love conveys.

Today I was telling two friends about Brooke’s recent experience of toxic love from a relative, and they felt the same way as we did. If you haven’t seen or interacted with someone in 7 years, and you force them to talk to you, or even to hug you, that is a violation of personal space for one, a violation of a person’s safety for two, and a show of control/dominance for three, you are not displaying love, you are displaying toxicity. What Bill and I witnessed after the incident, which we were not present at, was what mattered most. It was an outpouring of love, care and concern.

Brooke was hysterical, visibly shaken, feeling very hurt. Her friends did not hesitate to come listen to her, to gently speak to her, to kindly place a hand on her shoulder, to look at her with empathy and compassion. These are people she sees and speaks to at least 5 days a week, for at minimum, 9 months a year. These are people in her life, showing her love, patiently, kindly, caringly. These people know love. These people conveyed love.

This is not to say that Brooke can’t handle tough words, harsh words or brutal honesty, she can and does accept this. She can be spoken to by strangers, as she is regularly through work. Brooke is capable of speaking to, and with, adults of varying ages, lives and associations, as she does daily. These people are not trying to control, demean or hurt Brooke or anyone through Brooke, they are simply interacting. To imply that just talking to Brooke hurt’s her delicate feelings is just another example of a lack of love, it is meant to hurt.

Love is not hurt. Love does not hurt. Love is not speaking hatefully to, or about another, and then expecting them to want to be around you. That is disgusting behavior, toxic behavior, and in all honestly, is pretty damn hateful. That is not love.

Perhaps we need to show compassion for those folks of this nature, some empathy towards them…and I think we all do or have enough. Just because your parents treated you that way, does not mean that is acceptable behavior, warranted behavior, or loving behavior. It is behavior that needs a serious overhaul, dissected, and eliminated. It has no place in the future, and if you don’t understand it, then you need to accept the fallout and consequences from it.

This is the last post on this subject for a while. I think we have covered a lot of ground, discussed the merits of generational trauma and healing, toxic behaviors and overcoming those, and how the foundation of love can make the world a better place, if only in your corner of the world. Drop me a line, let me know if you are a self healer that breaks generational trauma, I would love to know!