We often ask people how they are, and we can sense the true answer is not really the answer they gave. I love though, when you ask someone how they are, it isn’t all that great, but they still try to be positive. I recently asked a friend how she was, after some debate and conversation, she settled on terming her current standing as “Amazingly Decent”. How positive, yet middle of the road is that? I love it!

We are such a self driven society that we don’t ask people how they are, or when we do and someone is honest, we judge their answer on some level. I am not going to lie, looking back on the last almost 4 years of my life, people would either think I am a depressed, mental head case, or, they would see that I have struggled mightily and while most times I tried to remain positive, sometimes that just was not possible. The bad thing though, is that was me operating from a horrible place, and not the best of me, let alone a version of me that I even liked. This just added to the struggle.

I recently told a friend that they met me at my worst in 2018, now they get to see me at my best. They said they were here for it! THAT is friendship! They aren’t having an expectation of me to remain the same, they are open to me changing, and they want things to be good for me…and they know that I feel the exact same way about them, for them!

Some days I feel like we stopped caring about others, because we have our own problems to deal with…yet I often feel like I know my capacity to deal with another’s problems because I have my own to deal with too. Both sides of the coin, yet we have to be honest with where we are at, and how much we care about knowing what is happening with another. There is, however, nothing wrong with listening to someone, or hearing where they are. Not every person wants to unload where they are or what they are going through, but maybe they just want to say, “I am Amazingly Decent.”, and then you can send them positivity, love or hope for what they need, and leave it at that.

I will write this, post it, and then send it to the friend that said this yesterday. I will reach out to see if she is still Amazingly Decent today, or how life is going differently today. Why? Because we all need to know someone cares, someone is there, and someone is listening. She can say nothing, something, or maybe remain firm in yesterday’s status, for today too. I am open to whatever she says, that is what friends do!

Are you there for your friends? Do you have boundaries with what you can accept or contribute, at times, to your friendship? I would love to know if you have changed, and whether that made for better friendships, or cost you friends along the way. Drop me a line, I am listening!

Every so I often, I take the Carl Jung/Myers Briggs inspired personality test at https://www.16personalities.com. That usually prompts me to encourage my family to take it, because who doesn’t like to learn about themselves and their loved ones? I find it interesting, fun and somewhat telling as to the things we “discover” about ourselves, or maybe admit to ourselves. My results have had the exact same outcome every time, with varying percentages. I am sure most of you will be surprised to see a higher percentage on my Extra/introvert scale…last time I was 49/51, this time I am 34/66. Now, before you start reading in your what each of these things mean, let me give you some information straight from Myers Briggs to accompany.

While we possess both sides, both abilities/capabilities, the larger percentage is indicative of the place we use or operate more from. Let’s break it down a bit, and I suggest if you do your 16 personalities test, don’t just look at the information they provide for you, look up more information at the Myers Briggs website.(Link at the bottom of post.)

According to Myers Briggs: “I like getting my energy from dealing with ideas, pictures, memories, and reactions that are inside my head, in my inner world.” VS. “I like getting my energy from active involvement in events and having a lot of different activities.”. This is very accurate for me, I dream, think, have visions and my mind makes connections to other things in my mind, and this is what inspires me.

According to Myers Briggs: “I like to work with symbols or abstract theories, even if I don’t know how I will use them. I solve problems by leaping between different ideas and possibilities.” VS “I notice facts and I remember details that are important to me. I am pragmatic and bottom line.” Although I tend to be both, I operate more so from making connections with ideas.

According to Myers Briggs:“I more concerned with values and what is best for the people involved.” VS “I can be seen as too task-oriented, uncaring, or indifferent.” Yeah, I am a bit task oriented, but not so much. I definitely care more about values, and for the greater good.

According to Myers Briggs: “I like to have things decided. I like to make lists of things to do.” VS “I am stimulated by an approaching deadline.” This pair describes what I prefer in an outer world. Do not confuse Judging with judgmental. More or less, I am very decisive, even while flowing, I am decisive.

According to 16personalities:“Assertive individuals are self-assured, even-tempered, and resistant to stress. They don’t worry too much, but this is different from apathy. They aim for goals and want successful results, but they typically won’t let nervousness color the path to their accomplishments.” Yes, this is so true for me. I would rather push past nervousness to see what I can do. I don’t lack self worth and I have a ton of empathy. I have an even cool head, especially under pressure, but you better bet that I want the best results possible in whatever I do or am associated with.

If you take your personality test, let me know, I’d love to hear the results and what you think about it!

https://www.myersbriggs.org/my-mbti-personality-type/mbti-basics/judging-or-perceiving.htm

How well do you listen to your body, really? Do you listen as well as you need to, or do you listen when your body yells loud enough to get your attention? I can honestly say that I used to listen when my body yelled loudly…back when I was a kid. However, when I became an adult, it was like I had noise cancelling earmuffs on and unless this body took me down, I was going to push through the tortured screams. I did that for a super long time until the ole bod gave out on me. I know I tell you all the time how much I love yoga, but I recently became disrupted from my yoga habit and I am paying now. Old problems have recently resurfaced and the only thing to fix it is to start slow, start gently, and to just start.

No matter what level you are at in your yoga practice, everyone can do yin or restorative yoga, especially when it involves props! Props are excellent if you are a beginner or a master, they help you ease in to a position better, allow your body to sink in to the pose more fully, or they aid in where you have restrictions to be loosened. Great instructors always give you suggestions and alternatives to a pose, helping you to get the most or best for your body. I would rather go in person to a class, but on a day like Friday, there were no local offerings, and so I checked one of my favorite yin/restorative yoga resources on YouTube. Brittany Timberlake never disappoints me!

I love all of the props, and over time, I have collected my own to use at home. I even take my props to in person yoga classes with me, although I take my blocks to each class, I only take my bolster on Sundays to Maria’s Revive and Restore class at Rainbow Yoga. I have had many instructors lead me in a yin, or restorative class, I love that everyone has their own take on these types of classes, but one thing is for certain, you will leave refreshed, renewed, restored, stretched out, blissful and happy! Oh, and your body will thank you for it!

If you are achey, and have about an hour, I suggest trying yin or restorative yoga. You will be amazed at how much better you feel! If you would like to attend an in person class locally, I would suggest Revive and Restore with Maria at Rainbow Yoga on Sunday mornings! If you want to start a home practice, let me know and I will send you links/resources for props to aid your endeavor!

I don’t know about you, but I don’t like to be stagnant or stuck. I like to grow, learn, do better, be better. I like others that foster that growth, people that challenge you, but that also will give you some guidance if and when you need it. I am that person, and I like that in other people too. Do you enjoy, and seek out, those folks that have knowledge about something that you don’t, so you may learn and grow? Well that is exactly what I did today, I sought out some much needed knowledge, I’m grounded, it’s time to grow!

If you recall, we recently did a downtown jaunt with Avery when she was home on break. She wanted to stop in to a plant store and get some succulents to take back to school with her, and she decided Grounded an Educational Plant Bar was the perfect place to stop. While Ave was getting her baby succulents and great instruction from Danyelle on how to best care for them, I decided to pick Danyelle’s brain over a plant I hadn’t had long, but was quickly killing. She listened to what I had recently done with my plant, asked pertinent questions about said care, and location of my plant, and gave me some information to think over. I had just bought a new planter a few weeks before, so I decided to not only bring that in to get filled, but to also bring in my dying plant for Danyelle to take a look at.

Today, as we stood there discussing my mismanagement of my plant, we discussed success and failures with plants. You know how you see a plant somewhere, online or in person, and it just reaches out to grab you, you fall in love and just want to bring it home with you to look amazing in your home? Yes, well, not all plants are really best for your level of commitment of care. Do you have a glowing green thumb? Terrific, but as Danyelle mentioned to me, even seasoned plant parents can struggle with seemingly easy plants. What plant I thought I was dying to have, was not the best compatible plant for me. Without this conversation with her, I would have bought that originally desired plant, and most likely would have killed it…good for her business, right? No, wrong.

See, Danyelle believes that this is a relationship we are building, and I believe in that too. You go to her for a plant, you can kill it, sure, then you can either go back and get another, or you can blame her for your failure…all because you may have lacked that plant care/person compatibility. This isn’t to say she thinks people blame her, not at all, simply put she would rather educate you on your plant, watch you succeed with the plant’s growth and care, and then see you return to add to your plant family! She wants to help you learn, grow, and succeed! I love that!!!

I left Grounded with my new plant, my old plant, and a pep in my step, armed with some new knowledge! I immediately came home to care for my babies, and relayed the information to my husband about changes I needed to make for my plants. He was happy I felt some new confidence with my plants, and that I had such a good experience with Danyelle. I have a couple more planters that I need to fill(RIP dead snake plant), so I will be stopping back in soon, ready to find the best plant for me, and to learn some more information to help me succeed!

Are you good with house plants or do you struggle too? I cannot say enough good about my experience at Grounded, I suggest you visit Danyelle if you struggle with a green thumb too!

Do what’s right for you.
Do what you feel is best.
Don’t fit in to someone else’s box.
Don’t deny your true self for others.
Walk away from things that aren’t for you.
Walk away so you may inspire others.
Run towards what is meant for you.
Run excitedly towards yourself.
Stop judging others.
Stop thinking your way is best.
Reflect on what you have learned.
Reflect on the journey, it’s a marathon not a sprint. You’ll make mistakes, you’ll learn and grow…now allow this for others.

I said this on Facebook a year ago, and as I often do, I like to share things that are still relevant, still valuable, and still meaningful. Do you repeat yourself, often, when it is of importance to you? I know I do!

In the past, I have written a lot for you, and I have written a lot for me…it served us both then, and it will continue to serve us both later. Do you ever give someone sage advice, only to realize it not only benefited them, but it served you well too? This memory is not just a reminder of Spring renewal, it is a reminder for our soul, individually, and collectively.

This is a photo of my old quince in bud/bloom. I lived at my old house for a couple of years with this green bush in my backyard, never knowing what kind it was, until one Spring, it magically bloomed. To my delighted surprise, it was not only beautiful with it’s hot pink petals and yellow center, but it was fragrant and smelled delightful too. I was in complete awe of this bush, and how it’s dormancy must have lead to the explosion of color, smell and proliferation of blooms. I looked up what this bloom was immediately, and was intrigued when it came up as a Japanese Quince. Needless to say, I had never seen one before, but I am always so happy when I see them now.

This bush reminded me that we may look dormant, boring, or bland on the surface, but with a little bit of care, we may become a show stopper. Truly, the bush kept growing, and I had no choice but to prune it back the year before, it was impeding my mowing after all! I often wonder if the previous owner had overpruned it, making it go dormant and not produce…and when I say produce, it did!

In the late summer, of that same year, of bloom explosion, the quince bush also produces fruit! Quince fruit! You can eat the fruit products in jams, jellies and other ways, but fruit y’all, it made fruit!!! And not small fruit, rather large for the quince. Honestly, that was the bush’s best year when I lived there, although it did bloom and fruit the rest of the time I owned the property. I regret not taking a start of that bush with me.

Why are we talking about the quince bush today? Because we are like that bush. Sometimes we go dormant to conserve our resources, sometimes we are exhausted way beyond our normal recovery, but if we are given time, love and care, we may just erupt in to a version of our best selves. Are you in need of some dormant time, or a little love and care?

People, sometimes we just need to drop the shears! More on that thought tomorrow!

Some days you just need to focus on what is in front of you, and I don’t know about the rest of you dog parents/owners, but the dirt and pollen my little critters are dragging in is insane. My weekly dusting has completely ramped up, went off the cliff and I am not only staring at yellowing dirt films on my furniture surfaces, but we are all sneezing, wheezing and coughing from the pollen and allergens. No one wants that!!

I am a solutions type person, so I will tell you what I find most helpful. I make my own cleaning products, using essential oils mostly, not always, but mostly. I found that when I used harsher chemicals, I would wheeze worse after, than before I cleaned! That is the sort of thing that makes you stop and scratch your head. If I am wheezing worse after, maybe the chemical is not the best thing to breathe in?

https://pin.it/5QgXPJ7

I have mentioned before, but I use Revive Essential Oils in massage therapy work, or I did. I use their oils in my cleaning products, and I use Revive’s cleaning products too. Typically I make up solutions that last quite a while, so the cost stays relatively low for cleaning, and lasts quite a while.

https://www.revive-eo.com/product/immunity-boost-household-cleaner/

I washed down my couch today, and almost always weekly, right now will be biweekly. It is honestly quicker to use this method than to spray down the furniture and wipe. Our sectional and recliner are leather so, this really is an effective method to use, along with producing a light scent that is pleasant, a bit of cinnamon warmth.

I also use essential oils in my dry dog shampoo, which I probably should look for a wet dog wash formula too. I will say, stay away from Tea Tree oil when using around pets, it has been known to cause seizures, I honesty don’t use that one hardly ever, just to keep my pets safe. They are all fans of lavender though, I put that on any booboos, sore body parts and sometimes just to treat them if they are lounging around. I cannot tell you what all I have used lavender for on the dogs, sometimes they see me coming with it, I swear they roll their eyes…until they get stung and they beg me to put it on, and it works like magic!

I love using clean methods for cleaning, products that I get my dollar’s worth from, and pleasant scents as opposed to harsh wheeze inducing chemicals. In case you are wondering, this is not a paid post, this isn’t me benefitting from you purchasing from them, but I truly believe in their products and love using them!

Drop me a line, let me know if you use oils, or other clean methods and tell me if you are knee deep in dirt and pollen this spring, too!

Once we have witnessed the Phoenix die, we are then witness to the phase of ashes, the phase before the rebirth occurs. We see the embers dying, the dust starting to settle, and we watch everything go dark…this is a yin phase, a resting phase, if you will, the phase where the dust settles and the surface hides the life growing underneath. Welcome to The Ashes Phase.

I am going to count backwards on this phase. I will designate it as TAP, as I will be gearing to tap in to my next potential, my next journey, my next…whatever comes next. I will also be tapping in to my heart’s desires of what I want to create in my life, for my life, and how I want things to be for me. TAP.

I coincidentally had plans today with my sister, to visit Tranquility Salt Cave in Columbus. We made these plans about a month ago, and the timing couldn’t have been better. We met some new people, and had a great lunch together. When I asked my sister if she would do the salt cave again, she said no…but she said it while she was still in the salt cave! The other ladies and I laughed at the effects, as we all remember our first time too. She definitely is going back, as we knew that’s what she meant, and she confirmed, laughingly.

Day 70 was a great day to kick off this new phase, it was a day of new things, a day of goodbyes, a day of remembering that I don’t care what others think of me, how they may judge me, and that I am not here for anyone’s approval but my own. What did you do today, did you try something new, meet someone new, or did you jumpstart yourself for a new phase?

Drop me a line, let me know what you did today!

45 days ago, I sat at my kitchen table, having a conversation with my husband about taking care of everyone else, my whole life…and here, 45 days later, I have finally arrived where I thought I was then. 45 days was really symbolic of 45 years. I am not going to beat around the bush today, let’s get to it. Let’s move forward.

Tying your trauma to your purpose, is what a lot of us do in this life. Our natural tendencies will foster this path, making it not only something you have passion about, but something you excel at too. After all, you are trying to rectify something.

On my journey, I have been a damn good massage therapist, I hit a great stride, excelled and pursued this field with a singular focus of helping people sort out their problems, not just their symptoms. People would call me before they called their doctor, and would often have me tell them what to ask or say to their doctor to expedite their health care needs being met. I advocated for patient care, self care, and health care with my clients, with insurance companies, with physicians and chiropractors alike. I have given more output and information than I could ever imagine that I would, and often called it useless knowledge. I educated people on their soul’s dwelling, their house of this lifetime, the place I which we reside, and how our mental, emotional and physical all tie together.

Some things boggled my client’s minds about what I knew that traditional medicine did not, what their brilliant physicians did not, and what multitudes of medical testing did not. I was driven and guided by a divine source, one many people thanked for showing me, catching their skin cancer, or their aortic aneurysm, and then some. I worked on people and cleared channels for their struggles with conception to end, and new life to begin. I often facilitated that only through a text or a phone call.

I have been blessed to hold people while they were crying on my table, scared, worried, about their own health and the health of their loved ones, as they trusted me to help them find a feeling of peace to descend to see them through whatever was coming their way. I have told people about troubles they would encounter with their health, what to watch for, what to ask, and what to demand, who to demand it from. I threatened many a client with calling their doctor on their behalf, to get them to go consult about their bodies and minds, and have them checked out. No one ever regretted that in the end.

I have spent 24 years in a profession that I truly loved, that provided an outlet for my trauma. I had a purpose in not only helping people, but in helping myself too. I could “save, or fix” people in a sense, although that was not my intention, I am paraphrasing my clients. I could arm them with information, education and personal empowerment. I could guide people to better personal choices, and so I did, that is exactly what I did, what I would do all over again if I had it to live again.

Before I go too far, I want to address something. We all experience traumas in our childhood, and most people spend their lives trying to rectify that, deal with that, or understand that, and what it entails. I am a fast tracker. I don’t hold on, I don’t linger. I acknowledge, process, let go, and fly. And that is what I did a long time ago with my own upbringing woes. This last encounter with trauma, was not all mine though, and so this time dealing and processing was so completely different than what I knew from before. I couldn’t really address it the same, approach it the same, or release it the same…but the one thing in common, maybe the thing it set apart from everything else about me, was that it showed me how far I would go to protect, love, shield, carry and push forward for others…and that revealed the heavy burden of self expectation, the fallout due to my capabilities.

Expectation via high capabilities is what broke my body, because my mind would not. Ignoring the signs and symptoms that I needed to lessen my load went unnoticed as my mind pushed on, beyond normal, beyond anything comprehensible. I shouldered it all because others’ expectations of me, coupled with my own. I could carry, bear, shoulder, take the hits from, until I always broke clear for us both, for all of us, for whoever needed me to. I would not drop, I would not fail, I would untangle and endure until this SOB broke free, and then I would rebuild, re weave, and build back from the foundation up, a clear, fresh free foundation.

I had this mentality in my personal life, my relationship life, my work life, my parenting life, my friend life, my house cleaning life, my craftsmanship life, my whole damn life. I was a warrior on mission after mission. No man left behind, no one falling off the path, no one left wounded, no one getting lost. NOT ON MY WATCH. And yet, this was all part of my trauma. Protector, fixer, keeper, warrior, bulldog, tenacious advocate, nurturer, child. Yes, child.

I feel that I have finally stepped in to the 45 years of myself, not a day younger, not a day older, I am standing here greeting 45. And you know what I finally realized? I have been operating from my childhood trauma, I have been operating from my second coming of trauma, and I have been dealing with trauma that is not my own. While I denied that, with acknowledgment and acceptance, it has made me realize, I am pretty tired y’all.

I did not think I would deal with trauma more than that of my own. I was wrong. I was wrong and that shit beat and broke me. That shit made me realize that I have known the answers, but I have lied because of expectations not my own, because of expectations of my own, and because I was so capable of carrying anything, and everything, from everyone, and myself. I once said I over estimated myself, but I now know that is wrong, I simply didn’t know where I would go, how things would go, and how it would all turn out. The same divine guidance that guided me to assist my clients, guided me through the storms, took me through the storms, brought me out of the storms and is now telling me to enjoy the freshness after the storm.

So what does that mean? I thought 45 days was apropos to the next leg of my journey, and it is, but it was actually the end of this act, this chapter, this book. It wasn’t the beginning, or the middle, it was the end, not the happy ending we often joke about, but the end of the second trauma, the trauma not mine, and the trauma that drove my purpose the first half of my life. What’s left, what’s next???

I am in dire need of a break. I have been fighting, protecting, loving, nurturing, guiding, etc. for way too long. It took me a while to see, but I can finally say, I succeeded. I completed my purpose. My mission is done. I did not fail, I gloriously succeeded. Now, I can walk away, I can have a break, I can regroup before my next book. I am done. This is the end of one.

Join me tomorrow for the beginning of 70 days of a break, of self discovery, personal growth, and whatever comes my way, toward and for me. If you are needing some inspiration, a break, or are just intrigued at what I may say, I invite you to follow along, participate with me, or just be a stalkerish fan and see where this next journey goes.

Thank you for witnessing the Phoenix die.

I had an epiphany today, and while I didn’t feel shocked about it in my mind, my body sang with relief of the knowledge. I cried in my shower and I cried outside of it too, but my body said yes, and thank you! I cannot tell you how good it felt to say so many words that were locked inside, that I not only needed to say inside my head, but outside my head too.

I truly am completely honest with myself, or so I would have thought, but today and here recently, I have found that despite my thoughts about this, it just isn’t always true. I found that I have been keeping some things so deep, under lock and key, away from my mind, my eyes, my heart, my soul, that only my body was holding the secret for discovery. Things have been set in motion, and while I have been working towards this epiphany, today it happened.

We think we know ourselves so well, and while we do-to the extent we do, some things about ourselves, may not occur to us. Wow, lol, that is a bit mind tripping, so let me clarify. I could understand that I was struggling with certain aspects of my life, but I honestly had to work through many more things before the raw reason was revealed to me. This is how it often happens, and because I had never hidden anything from myself, this epiphany came as a complete surprise, a relieving surprise, but also it was a devastating surprise.

I have been completely limiting my interaction with people lately, and this has all been part of what has delivered me here today. Isolation, limitation, and lots of soul searching. Lots. The thing is, what I thought was keeping me from people, was really a sign getting me to see the road to epiphany. I have been so preoccupied, I missed so many signs, and so I was taken down a different road, to change my view, to get me to my destination. It amazes me that no matter how much you won’t see what is in front of you, there will be detour after detour to take you to the same place, the same outcome, your interaction or lack there of will bear no importance, you cannot stop what is inevitably meant to be. Will you try to sort through the minutia to get there though?

On this 44th day of 45 writings, I hope you will come back tomorrow, as I have something good to share. Drop me a line, tell me something you have realized recently, or something that took you by surprise, I’d love to know.