44/45-Drop it like it’s hot!

I had an epiphany today, and while I didn’t feel shocked about it in my mind, my body sang with relief of the knowledge. I cried in my shower and I cried outside of it too, but my body said yes, and thank you! I cannot tell you how good it felt to say so many words that were locked inside, that I not only needed to say inside my head, but outside my head too.

I truly am completely honest with myself, or so I would have thought, but today and here recently, I have found that despite my thoughts about this, it just isn’t always true. I found that I have been keeping some things so deep, under lock and key, away from my mind, my eyes, my heart, my soul, that only my body was holding the secret for discovery. Things have been set in motion, and while I have been working towards this epiphany, today it happened.

We think we know ourselves so well, and while we do-to the extent we do, some things about ourselves, may not occur to us. Wow, lol, that is a bit mind tripping, so let me clarify. I could understand that I was struggling with certain aspects of my life, but I honestly had to work through many more things before the raw reason was revealed to me. This is how it often happens, and because I had never hidden anything from myself, this epiphany came as a complete surprise, a relieving surprise, but also it was a devastating surprise.

I have been completely limiting my interaction with people lately, and this has all been part of what has delivered me here today. Isolation, limitation, and lots of soul searching. Lots. The thing is, what I thought was keeping me from people, was really a sign getting me to see the road to epiphany. I have been so preoccupied, I missed so many signs, and so I was taken down a different road, to change my view, to get me to my destination. It amazes me that no matter how much you won’t see what is in front of you, there will be detour after detour to take you to the same place, the same outcome, your interaction or lack there of will bear no importance, you cannot stop what is inevitably meant to be. Will you try to sort through the minutia to get there though?

On this 44th day of 45 writings, I hope you will come back tomorrow, as I have something good to share. Drop me a line, tell me something you have realized recently, or something that took you by surprise, I’d love to know.