12 to Fall-Yesterday, Today, Tomorrow, In the Future

Written yesterday, with dread in mind.

We all have difficult and toxic people in our lives, people we have not interacted with for years. Absence can give you a reason to self reflect and change, or it can harden your heart even further. Communication and understanding is key. Boundaries are for everyone, and you do not have certain rights, just because you assume you are entitled. If you purposely say things to inflict harm or strike fear in another, your goal is not happiness, reconciliation, harmony, or love, it is control, manipulation and expectation. Take a moment to ask yourself why, and how you could go about things in a much better, productive way.

Today is such a test. SUCH A TEST. I am not passing, I don’t think, but I am being reminded that I have to let go of the fact that some people really are small, petty, ignorant and just down right selfish. This is not for me to worry about, what will be will be, and this too shall pass.

I am not responsible for the choices you made in the past, that affect your todays.

I don’t have to have an opinion on what outcomes affect you, based on your decisions.

I don’t have to hold your feelings, because you are hurt by your actions.

I refuse to be the person you think I am, I will continue to choose to be the person I actually am.

I release any and all negative or ill feelings you prompt of, and in me, in regards to your limitations.

I am not bound by your ignorance.

If you don’t like things, look in the mirror. You created this situation for yourself. Now, this applies to me in the sense that I put up with it. I can’t be upset if I am a part of the problem.

By removing myself, I am saying I want no part of the problem. I don’t have to hate, bash, or speak ill of others, I will leave that to you.

I do not have time for your regrets. I do not have room for your sorrows. I don’t have the desire to be near your energy of bad choices.

If you think that a parent would keep their kids from you as a grandparent, then one of two things is happening here. You are either toxic and you know your kid’s choice to keep grandkids from you is warranted, or, you are so petty and immature that you would keep your kids away from their grandparents as a form of punishment. Either way is telling. Free will exists, by the way.

Forcing someone to interact with you is not a choice. It is force. Allowing someone to choose whether they want to interact with you or not is just that, their choice, not a permission, but a choice.

Nobody owes you anything. You chose to have kids, they chose to have kids too. No one owes you anything simply because of a choice you made, get over yourself.

Right now is the time for those that want to free themselves from expectation and trauma bonds, to do so. If someone in your life makes you feel trapped, unheard, or bound to them by what family is supposed to endure or be like, take the pause, ask yourself if you would do that to others. Ask yourself if you like these things from others. Ask yourself what your payoff for putting up with it is. Ask yourself if this is the example you want to set for the generations after you. It is time for people to understand there is a shift occurring, a generational healing. You are either a part of that, healing, or not. And if you aren’t, ask yourself why not. Stop blaming others for the consequences of your choices.

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