As we enter in to a season of family events, shopping along strangers, and possible utter chaos and bustling busyness, I want to give you some tips of how to deter bad feelings, save you from having a meltdown, or worse, not enjoying the season. Let’s get to it then!
The holiday season puts a lot of emphasis on family, and for many, family is a definite point of contention. Dealing with family is often hard and fraught with negative emotions or interactions. When I tell you to not go to save your peace, and you hit me with, it will be worse if I don’t, then really you need to take a hard look at what you are enduring and what you are ultimately enabling. You are choosing to cause yourself harm in those situations, and in the end, is it worth it? If you decide to go anyhow, you must place your focus where it can aid you or bring you joy, otherwise you leave empty, deflated, depressed and then dreading it agin the following year or following holiday. Pick your poison or pick your peace.
People get very rude while in a store amongst strangers, it’s as if they have a green light to be horrible, because they don’t know you and don’t care about something affects you. I always will give the other person the right of way, or offer to let them go in front of me if they are in a hurry, and so on and so forth. I go out of my way to be cordial and polite because their behavior often has nothing to do with you or the store, but other underlying things. The store, patrons and overall chaos is just too much for them to deal with and they take it out on others. I find it best to be the bright spot in their day, or maybe save someone else from their wrath, after all, I am going in knowing these things.
This will be the year my kids get more adult gifts, tires for cars for one, car equipment for the other, and I feel really good about it. The spending limit is lower than last year, but inflation is up, and our income is down. It truly is better to get a few meaningful things, than to get many things you don’t want or need. Don’t go broke trying to make one season some grand gesture, that sets everyone up for failure, and it isn’t the reason for the season. No, that isn’t a Christianity speaking point, but a multicultural viewpoint/perspective. It truly is about gathering with those that you love, that love you, people that value you, and vice versa, and people you can’t live without and the reverse. It is about the people and the connections, truly.
Take the Pause. Seriously, I have been saying this to people for years. When we take the pause, we can assess, observe, evaluate, cool down, and ask ourselves if it will be beneficial to react, typically the answer is no. Why add fuel to the fire? Why cause ourselves inflammation or harm?? TAKE THE PAUSE. Then either be kind, or politely firm…but remember, deescalating something is better than being right, because odds are, no one is right.
I did not go in to depth about some of these items on the list, as I feel the ones I did discuss, span across the others. I think most of you think or feel the same way, but there are so many people that have nightmare holiday experiences and this is meant to bolster their courage, patience, perspective and mindset.
I am wishing you all a merry, jolly, happy, delightful holiday season. Merry Christmas, May your season be merry and bright!