Do you know those people that you address issues with, and their follow up is typically, “Well you aren’t perfect either!”? Let’s address those folks, shall we? This won’t hurt a bit, but then it might.
There is no such thing as perfection. Whew! I said it. 😅 No one is perfect! What a relief!!! Perfect practice, indeed, does not make for perfection! Let’s put that old lie to rest too! You know why the illusion of perfection is just that, an illusion? It is sadly a way to get the best and the most out of human beings, and typically for someone else’s benefit. Once upon a time, these sayings and phrases weren’t just common place, they are what drove so many people to perform for attention, love and accolades. Oof, thankfully we aren’t in that place anymore!
What would you think if I said, do your best! That seems like there is an out attached to that, but is there really? What if someone’s best when they choose is utter garbage, but when they are expected to be perfect is pretty damn good? No harm, no foul, right? Wrong. The internalization that people then have becomes a dangerous animal, either waiting to attack, or waiting to be slayed, sometimes both at the same time. Instead of pushing someone to their best, we end up pushing them to abuse towards others, doing them to repeat the same patterns and cycles, or we are preparing them for mental collapse. So, how do you drive people?
Any good leader knows that perfection is an act, an illusion, and typically there is some really shit behavior behind it. A good leader knows how to get people to healthily compete with themselves, they know how to take the best parts of someone, and make them better through guidance and mentoring, there is also and underlying understanding and patience to trust the process, to understand there is a process, and to know when or how to accelerate the process. In that, a good leader also knows when there is a call for downtime too. Did we get off topic of perfection? Not at all.
See, a person that is pushing you to “perfection”, isn’t a leader. They are probably a micromanager…they need to control your actions or steps, or the input given in order to get you where they need you to go. A leader teaches, guides, mentors, makes corrections when needed. Oof, makes corrections?! Can you take corrections? Can you be taught? A good leader also knows that they have to say what needs said, in order for them to help you. It may not be what they want to say to you, and it definitely may not be what you want to hear, but if you truly want to be better, your best, you listen to what the leader tells you. You can mull it over, you can digest, and maybe you think they are wrong, but if you trust that they are telling you for your betterment, and none of their benefit, then you can have a more open heart and mind about their words.
How does this tie in to the act of perfection? Well, when you cannot accomplish what another expects of you, you start to act like you can, and are in fact doing those things. You are creating the illusion through doing what is expected on the surface, or that pleases the other person. You start to cut corners and cheat, because you are simply doing what this ineffective person is deeming as your perfection…they are teaching you, training you, and manipulating you into the act of perfection. They are not only NOT good leaders, they are not leaders at all, but folks on a power trip that are pushing their traumatic narrative on you. Their lack, or act of perfection, then becomes your own. Basically, their fulfillment is at YOUR cost.
This week, we clearly need to lay some things out here. Do you have anything you would like to discuss, or approach with others? Drop me a line, let me know, we can discuss it!