Today, I watched Brooke get inducted in to the National Honor Society, I cleaned carpet, and I made my husband call his mother, they have been estranged for 7 years. For some reason, I feel that things are acting as accelerants in many ways right now, and I think the whole point is for things to go to a different place, a different way, and to live in to new.
I am ready, and willing to let go, to move forward and to reach for what is meant for me. I have learned recently that I can’t allow the same old things, and expect my life to get better. It won’t. It requires truth, honor and sacrifice from me. It is not there to hurt me or hinder me, it is there to help me.
I have also realized that I have been asking for help for a long time, and the thing I know is, no one is coming to help me. This is all on me, and figure it out and change it, I will. Wonder why I am blunt, direct, honest and say what I think? This is exactly why. It is all on me, and I will get through.
I am tired of my life being something it shouldn’t be. I am tired of my life being what someone else has deemed as my life. I am tired of trying to communicate with someone that is hell bent on making my life so miserable. I am saying this out loud, I will figure this out.