TAP 51/70-If you could…

We have two of Bill’s grandma’s paintings in our house. I always wondered why she chose to try painting.

If you could do anything artistic, what would it be? Would you shred a guitar like Eddie Van Halen, paint like Picasso, or sing like Adele? Would you capture landscapes like Ansel Adams, or would you play a trumpet like Louis Armstrong? Maybe you’d paint murals like our local Pamela Kellough? What would you do artistically if you dedicate your time and life to studying it?

A couple months ago, I told Bill that I felt like I needed to paint. I kept feeling this burning desire to put paint to a canvas of sorts, and I ended up painting my massage office in to a photography studio. This scratched the itch, but I still felt something was missing. Bill and Brooke both said some weird things to me, that really weren’t that weird, but harkened to the whole painting idea. They both not only implied, but explicitly said that I have always been a creative, using my hands for a creative outlet. I agreed, I have always made things with my hands, painting, crafting, repurposing, transforming items into something new and exciting, something more. Somewhere along the way, I lost that outlet, or maybe I translated that need and desire to photography…and then I started charging money and photography became a job. Did I ruin that passion?

Not my current view, maybe I need to paint my cabinets and refinish my floor?

I don’t think I ruined it, but I don’t think I have figured out how to harness my creative need and the job quite yet. Yes, I shoot some creative things, but often time, I am getting a shot of a subject, and while there is gold there, I don’t think I have married my full creative with photography quite yet. This makes me feel that I still need one or five creative outlets in addition, outside of that?

My mantle…two of my creations.

Bill keeps encouraging me to paint, and I can tell you, I am no painter, wouldn’t even know how to begin with making a painting. I am shut off to the idea, that is accurate, but I think because I know it is not what I yearn to do. Painting walls, yes, I think I need to do that, and soon I will probably do that, as Bill is moving his office to our partially finished basement. With his move, we are changing the purpose of several rooms in our house, or rather we are assuming the intended purpose for several rooms. This is a process, yet satisfying to me.

I feel that I am on the precipice of a breakthrough of sorts, and the more things change, the closer I get to the breakthrough. Have you ever felt that way, that you need small changes to lead to massive amounts of change for the natural progression of things to shape it all to the way it is meant to be? Whew! This definitely is a long and winding road, paved with one Beatles reference after another.

My phone saver, always reminding me and inspiring me

Kind of random thoughts today, but oddly specific. I will follow where this leads, I am feeling some shape finally starting to form, I trust the process and am willing to go where I am lead. How about you, where are you on your path, where do you need to veer, and can you see a horizon in sight? Drop me a line, I’d love know!

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