15/45-Grief, A Guest Post

*The author of this post, wishes to remain anonymous. This is not directed at their employer, they are expressing their grief in a raw, poignant way, I am honored to share this with you all.

For the amount of time that most of us have given to our careers for free by going well above and beyond. It always just seemed like that’s how it is supposed to be. I question what robot has deemed the idea of one of the hardest things in the world to overcome, with no emotion, no compassion, and quite frankly… No fucks given!

Bereavement, 3 days…. Time stolen from companies that have been gracious enough to afford us the luxury of 3 entire days… Never mind the weeks we have lost away from family because, “That’s the job”. Time stolen that can never have a price put on it.

From the point the inevitable happens, you will now go through life wondering what if!! A thousand times a second for the rest of your life… Followed by the thought of being “gifted” with 3 days. The second your life will never be the same, the moment you get smacked with a reality that you never thought of, because IT SHOULDN’T HAVE HAPPENED.
That single moment, where it all changed.

What accounts are open, what bills need paid, what needs closed, did they have will, where is the will, where are the kids, will I still have them, what if I can’t do this, where is the plot going to be, who is handling the funeral arrangements, when is it going to be, what would they want to wear, did the taxes get paid, are income taxes filed, was there life insurance, how much did that ambulance ride cost, how much is the hospital bill going to be, how much is a plot, how much is a funeral, what am I doing, where am I going, who do I let know, how do I let them know, how can this happen to me, what if I wouldn’t have taken that last call, how did I not see this coming, what signs did I miss, did they know, the list goes on! The worst part is that this doesn’t go away and runs through your mind millions of times a second…

Now that a 6000th of those questions have been handled… 3 days… Those 3 days you were afforded have gone. GONE in the blink of an eye… The viewing and the funeral haven’t even come close to happening. 3 days are gone… Back to work you go…When did you have time to grieve…
Take a breath and hold it in for 60 seconds…
Who will officiate the funeral, did I make the right choices, is that what they would’ve wanted, who will be the pallbearers, have you reached out to let them know…. It never stops!! You were afforded 3 days…

Family is the most precious gift in the world. Time is the second most precious gift in the world. You can have both independently… I can assure anyone that one without the other shouldn’t be allowed to exist… There’s a reason they are number 1 & 2. Yet somehow along the way I would encourage every single person to stop!! Take a deep breathe, and ask yourself…. Did you put them both at #1??? Or did you lose sight of what truly is the most important thing in the world….

Cherish the time you have with family. When you get nagged before leaving for that last kiss, you truly never will know if it may be the last. Should you feel that it’s getting away from you all over again, just remember… Time is never guaranteed… you truly will never know when the time comes…..