Fist in the air, mean mugging, lip snarl, righteous. Who is with me?!? Who stands against me?!? You don’t have to listen, cause I will scream it in your ear!!! I.AM.RIGHT.!!!! What does that make you?????? WRONG!!! Who has control??? I HAVE CONTROL!!!
It’s okay if you saw Billy Idol while reading this. It may date you, but ya ain’t wrong! Or, maybe you are? Could have been a bit Janet Jackson for all you know. Anyhoo, maybe we all oughta pull our knickers out our rumps and have a wee sit to cool our jets?!
I want to discuss control and being right today, or the need to be so, and how we interact with people in regards to these things. I am finding many people are experiencing a major shift right now, we could say it has to do with Mercury Retrograde, or we can say it involves evolving for our own lives, evolution of our souls, and ultimately our world. But today, I want to focus on being right, and having control.
The need to have control is typically derived from a chaotic environment that needed/needs order, or, the need to be the person that dictates everything, which also serves as a sense of balance. Now, in those separate things, they may both be coming from a place unhealed for yourself, a parent wound, or perhaps even a spousal wound-which most likely derives from the previous two. Control is really a false illusion, when you break it down. We can control our bodies, our thoughts, our actions. We can even control others through abuse, trickery or limiting their options. We can think we have control of a situation, but really all we did was take away the oxygen in the room, so it can fuel our internal fire that rages out of control…having no control causes forced control. So, how does control and being right coexist, partner or not match up??
The need to be right says, hear me, see me, acknowledge me, pay attention to me!!! I have been squelched and now “you will hear every damn word I say!”. Bonus points if you can tell me what movie that came from and who said it. The need to be right says you have value, but are not being valued, and probably not being seen, heard, etc.. What happens though when your needs associated with being right, causes you to be wrong? Have you been “right” for so long that you can’t see how you are wrong? Is your expectation of being right forcing your thoughts, beliefs and views on to others that maybe don’t see how you are right, or maybe they can actually see where you are wrong and instead of having an open discussion, you scream in their ear that YOU ARE RIGHT AND YOU WILL BE HEARD???
So you take control of the situation, sucking the oxygen from the air, diminishing the other person and their right to see things differently, just so you can be right, and have a sense of control? Oooh. Oops, ya done messed up now. Because this makes you a hypocrite, maybe a control(less)freak, an unhealed, possibly trauma bonded, brainwashed lump. Well snap, ya done gone off into a poor state of mental health now. So how do you correct that???
Step 1: You accept that others have an opinion differing from your own.
Step 2: You take a closer look at yourself and try to figure out why a differing opinion than your own bothers you. Has something colored your perception with being right and needing control?
Step 3: You come to realize that maybe you have some self work to do, then you “Do the f*ucking work!”.
Step 4: You learn to ebb and flow in life, the differences we all possess make us beautiful, make this world beautiful, and if the differences are non harming, what does it really matter in the end?
Step 5: Learn to breathe, relax, find or create joy, oh, and mind your own business. Because if you have time to control others or force your need to be right on them, you probably have time to work on yourself.
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