Our society has been so focused on being highly capable of doing it all, to the point that we are not only spread thin but our output may be lacking a bit of girth and substance. A person’s worth and success has been tied to what all they have been capable of managing and doing, while achieving, growing, nurturing, and adding to the already high pile of activities, responsibilities and work they were doing at the beginning. Many people don’t think they have too much on their plate, and one of two things is probably true for these folks, they either don’t realize they are heading for major burnout, or they really are not doing as many in depth things as they think they are.
This is not to say that we all have the same threshold, or that each person’s level of output is comparable, but more so that it is different for all of us. Let me throw an example out: A woman may be married, have a 9-5 job, and a small child, but her life may be a different level of occupied than another woman with the same criteria. Adding to one woman’s life may be doable and perfectly okay, but to add to another woman’s life may be too much for her. If you think this is about balance, you are incorrect. This is about what occupies your time, what you give value of importance to, and how other outside factors weigh in to it all. Balance is a self designated perspective, and that can be erroneous or easily miscalculated over the course of time involved. So, if balance is perceived, what is the actuality?
Less. Less is the actuality. You have less busyness, less worry, less doing of things and less distractions. Let’s go back to the married woman with the 9-5, and one child. She had less without the child. She had less without the marriage. She had less without the 9-5. Add those things up, and continue to add, she has more, possibly to the point of too much. Something will start to lose her quality of attention eventually, maybe to the point of losing her attention altogether. Ah, here is where people start to say “she balances it all”. Not quite. She will either give something(s) up, or she will ask for help to keep her attention focused and prioritized…which is still not balance but outsourcing and lessening her load.
This scenario translates all across the board, from women to men and whatever occupies our time. When do we go from occupation to distraction though? I think that is the case, we are very distracted from important core things and it is revealing itself in our society. We are less concerned with quality, more with quantity, and that is leaching our richness, in all honesty. What would happen if we focused on less? Would we be less successful? Would we be less fulfilled? Would be better as individuals? Possibly, but not necessarily.
Point blank, if you cannot outsource, you need to do less. If you can outsource, it provides room for you to do more. If one more so aligns with your values and expectations, do that for now, and maybe later or the whole time. The point is, are you doing all you are capable of, are you doing too much, do you need to do less, do you need to outsource…are you distracted by your own expectations or the expectations on you by others? These are very hard questions to answer most of the time, because we are so deeply in our lives and layering all of the things we add, that we really don’t see the absolute truth until we subtract to see a difference. A full life is not a rich life, and a life lacking is not fulfilling. Hopefully you see where this post is at and where it is going.
There is no balance, there is ebb and flow. There is not one size fits all, there is tailored to you and your life. There is not one right answer for people with the same criteria, there are multiple answers because we are are all having our own experience. There is however, one life to live, and we need no metrics from others, on which we need to measure our own.
So, tell me(even though I am not on fb and this will have to be a discussion you all have on your own, unless you want to message me), are you living your life by your own metrics, measurements, expectations, and pace? Are you outsourcing, lessening, or carrying an unbearable load?