What if we did the opposite?
With everything in life, there is a balance, sometimes that requires us to make major moves or minor tweaks. We do these things with attaining or maintaining equilibrium in mind, never with the intention of losing our footing and subsequently falling. I want to tell myself this is what all people think, but I know this just isn’t the case. We often sabotage ourselves either not realizing that is what we are doing, fully knowing what we are doing and just can’t seem to stop ourselves and sometimes we are paralyzed by fear to change what we know is terrible for us.
I just had a conversation with my kids about people that struggle, yet the struggles are largely self imposed. Now, this was not me talking to my kids as a lecture or parent talk, but was a subject broached by my eldest, that the youngest weighed in on, and that I pointed out something that neither touched. We all need to learn life lessons, and that often comes with struggles, and yes largely we are the lesson to be learned. How do we get out of our own way? How do we identify that we are the problem? How do we expect to have what we want when we can’t even see around ourselves?
This last question is not saying self absorbed, but seriously about getting out of our own way to proceed with learning and ultimately success within and for ourselves. I believe we all struggle with this at some point in our lives, some people their whole lives, and other people until something shakes up their life. Have you been there? And are you also saying, “which time?”, lol?
I admit I have done this, I still do it in some ways with certain things, if I am honest, one big thing. I know I am standing in my own way, I know why I am standing in my own way. I know the justifications I give myself, and I know that it is all one big lie I tell myself because I am being too kind, understanding and compassionate about it.
In regards to this, I have lost my balance completely, I have fallen off the proverbial beam more times than I care to count. I keep getting back on knowing that it isn’t a goal to stay on the beam, but to not lose my ability to keep getting back on the beam. So what if I did the opposite? What if I went in the other direction with my actions in regard to this? What if I started think of my thoughts and feelings on the other end of the spectrum? How do I even feel about this?
I kind of feel weird to be honest, a little uncomfortable, a lot intrigued and somewhat lighter in my feelings about it. Why not? Why not?? WHY NOT??? This is something that I have contemplated, trying the opposite of what doesn’t work, serve me, or make me happy, and to be honest, I thought I couldn’t do it. But to be frank, the current methodology is not working, so what could I possibly stand to lose by taking a chance on this new balancing act, failure?
Ah, but see, I have already admitted to falling off the beam multiple times, knowing my tactic will fail me every time. Why not just admit that it is ridiculous and not productive to keep using the same method that keeps failing? Why not change my approach and way of thinking about it, way of looking at it? What is the worst that can happen, I develop a new bad habit that proves useless? I am already there, so I might as well make a major move, some minor tweaks and see if I can’t find some much needed balance with this topic?
Then it sinks in. If I go the opposite way, it means I will succeed, I will be forced to look at why I have purposely failed all the attempts before. Because that’s what I have done. I have failed of my own accord, and I know why I have. The dawning is always hard to come to terms with, when you realize that YOU are the reason you are frustrated, falling, failing yourself.
No matter how much you want to exhaust yourself getting back up on that beam, stop and think about it before you do. Be as honest with yourself as you possibly can be, if you get back up there, are you serving your highest good? Is it in your best interest, or will it cause the inevitable loop of negativity that you think mounting that beam with that same old can do attitude can actually fix? I think we both know the answer to that. Settle in yourself for a while and reflect on it all.
I want to be honest with you, I feel I need an answer to something out of my control, several answers in fact. But instead of getting upset, frustrated, or feeling out of control about it, I think I will just stand next to the beam, maybe walk beside it for a while. Who knows, maybe I will just walk away from the beam realizing that I am pretty darn balanced with both feet on the ground, on my own two legs. Maybe I don’t need an answer because I already have one, and maybe I was only unbalanced by my own doing? I think I will try doing the opposite, see how it goes. I can always come back to that beam after all!